life lately

I see things from a different angle, I realized that no body will save me, but i have a strong feeling that this break has saved me from myself. its been so awesome I leant so much but I mostly have grown to see a better me. I have devoted myself to knowing myself , I listened to myself and my whole being I've hated myself a few times I cried a lot but for what its worth I couldn't have asked for a better experience

life lately has had more ups then down, I'm pleased that its come to that, I realised that life is perfect if one works and waters life with deep breaths and smiles so one can get through the day. recently I opened myself up to another world, I gained excess to the spiritual healing and ancestral believes and guardian angles. Wow this world I must say was scary and I had lots of doubts in entering but I felt at the time that I need something to give me peace, tying to chase butterflies of life.

when one gets to a certain age you find yourself asking questions about life how it works, because hey life is beautiful but can be painful and extremely hard to deal with. So I went in search of a teacher, but now I call him my Master I remember the first time I asked my boyfriend to hook me up with my Master he wouldn't have it he refused but came a time when life was so bad that we both didn't know what to do he finally agreed that I meet him.
 
ever since our first encounter with my Master my life was never the same. I found myself a teacher a listener and worrier of life :) he introduced me to the parallel universe that surround us, the Angels the wisdom of nature the mysteries of the traditions and our culture,

We talked about guardian angels and my ancestors he broke little sticks up and formed a circle explaining that that's my body he then put the rest of the sticks inside the circle, saying those are my soldiers they  help me to survive. he continued explain to me in details how they represent me and how they all should work together to form a unit, sounds simple but it was intense because for the very first time I actually took the time to learn how my body works and how it affects me.

the things took away from that experience that day was from my Master was: when I find your path I must not be afraid, he said I need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes, disappointment, defeat and despair are tools God uses to show us the way. I'm pretty sure that my Master has experience these both in body and soul. what better teacher.

Anyways its been a journey I now have an understanding of how my guardian angels, ancestors and God work together and how I should acknowledge them and never disregard all of them.  I have faith in God and in my guardian angles who brought me here and they remain with me, I cannot explain what its like but I know they are near me, at the time I needed to believe in the present and for a while now it exists and it has stayed with me.

I learned about the dark night, I learned that the search of God is a dark night, that faith is a dark night and that's hardly a surprise really because for us each day is a dark night non of us knows what might happen even in the next minute, and yet still we go forward because we trust, because we have faith.

I thought I had lost myself and my sense of belonging, the pain was so extreme that I felt that God had turned his back on me, I had just resigned from my job and was about to lose my family, that's why I call it the dark nigh, that very moment in my life I had to exercise my faith.
Faith cannot be explained it was simply a dark night and my Master had to teach me the power of prayer and how to have conversations with my guardian angels and my ancestors. I think at some stage I thought I was dreaming and it was not happening to me because the pain cut so deep but I had to be strong he said, being strong would mean I had to except what was happening.

I am still here surrounded by Gods compassion and grace and his love is brighter then the sun  more beautiful then words could ever say, his endless light shined over my life and it led me to his glory I understood that in the darkness that's where he shines.

I found peace and healing and I found loyalty and friendship in God, really I fear nothing, I even went as far as creating a prayer corner, that's where I go and talk to all of them and I find rest there, there is nothing like it.

So, yes life lately has been nothing but sweet and that's because I embrace it and I connect with it. I work on overcoming my fears facing them head on and that for me is called balance.

So I still say God is Love :)